The Lloyds - Heatstroke Picnic

Heatstroke Picnic

We went to Six Flags Marine World for Erik's company picnic. Well, we missed the "picnic" because Jake was napping. By the time we got there, parked, and walked 10 miles to the park, the picnic was over. We had "record high temperatures". The temperature gauge on the stroller read 106 degrees! That's good 'ol California for ya.

So, let me summarize our day for you...hot as Hell, miserable, crowded, miserable, hot as Hell, and oh...did I mention hot as Hell? My God! I have never in my life experienced the heat that we encountered that day.

But, it doesn't deter idiots like ourselves. Nope. We still go to crowded places and suffer through the heat, so we can stand in line for an hour to ride a kiddy train that lasts 30 seconds. I think we should be committed -- really.

Here's a summary of our day in Hell, which I fondly call the "Heatstroke Picinc":

We pack up Jake, which of course requires the BIG bag, so that we can tote all the crap that he might need while we're there. We drive to the park, and of course, one mile before we get there Jake decides he's had enough of sitting in the car...let the fussing begin...

We get there and now we get to look for a parking place. Well, let me tell you...the parking lot assigns letters to each lot so that any moron should be able to find their car when they leave. Want to guess what "letter" lot we parked in? I'm not real sure (which is probably why I can never find my car when I leave places like this), but I'll tell you...it must have been lot "ZZZ". We park, load all our crap into the stroller and walk to the Tram. Well, now there's no easy way to get a stroller onto a Tram, so we walk. The walk felt like 10 miles in the heat. By the time I got there, I was so tired and sweaty, I just wanted to leave. But, we pushed on.

Picnic's over so we walk around. Oh, let's see if Jake can ride on that...Nope, he's too small...what about that one...nope, he's too small...what about that one...OK, it's the Foghorn Railroad. Erik and Jake get in line and wait, and wait, and wait as Erik wipes the sweat from his brow for the millionth time. Jake's face is all flushed, his head is sweating...Ah! They get on the train. It goes in a figure 8 twice. Yay! Train ride's over. Boy, that was fun.

Dying of thirst here!!! Let's get something to drink...oh, wait...no money...we need an ATM machine...where's the map...Oh, great...there's 1 ATM machine in the whole park. Want to guess where it is? Yes, that's right...it's back at the front gate. Yay! Someone please shoot me.

So, we backtrack our way back to the front to get in line for the one and only ATM in the whole stinking park. So, we wait, and wait, and wait, and wait...each person is at the machine at least 10 minutes...why? Well, the sun is blazing on the machine, so no one can read the dang screen, and it asks you 20 questions because this is CA -- not "The Golden State" as you may know it as. Nope it's "The Diversity State" where all ATM's must ask you what freaking language you want the instructions in first.

Ok, got the money...now let's get something to drink...Oh, wait...there's a line! Yay! So, I get in the line for a drink with Jake (which is in the blazing sun, of course, while Erik gets in the line in the shade (not much better) to get a funnel cake. Not only are we waiting, and waiting, and waiting in the blazing sun, but we also get the pleasure of being in front of a woman screaming at her 3 obnoxious, whiney kids...Yay! Paid nearly $10 for 2 drinks, meet up with Erik and sit down to eat and drink.

Ok...let's try to find the animal park...oh, there's the butterfly house...let's go in...Oops! Can't take the stroller...well, we're not leaving it here (now, considering we had to go through a metal detector to get into the place, I don't think I'm leaving the stroller with a fifty pound diaper bag full of what Jake refers to as "goodies" here). Erik and Jake go inside while I wait in the scorching heat.

Erik and Jake come out drenched with sweat. At first glance, I thought maybe they were hit with a sprinkler. How refreshing that would have been. Nope, I was wrong. See, the butterfly house is 90 degrees with 100% humidity! Yay! Well, that was fun.

OK, let's go watch the dolphins through the windows...Oops! Can't take the stroller there either...Cripes, never mind! OK, let's go find the animal park...you know what? I've had enough. Let's get the hell out of here.

So, we left. Back 10 miles to parking lot "ZZZ" to hunt for the car. The car, sitting in 106 degree weather for a couple of hours is now 500 degrees on the inside. Yay! So, we wait outside the car (in the heat) while the car gets "cool". Yay!

What a fun day! I can't wait to go back! Maybe next time Erik's company can pick a day when it's 206 degrees outside!