Stanley

About the Family Beast - a.k.a. VISA, Tink, Stan the Man, Dirty Diaper Eater

Stanley is our pit bull mutt. We got him when he was about 4 months old (see photo right). Since then, he has managed to coat the entire carpet throughout the house with either crap, pee or barf at one time or another.

Unlike the sterotypical pit bull, Stanley is the biggest wimp on the planet. It only takes a mere shout to send him running for cover. Yes, Stanley has been diagnosed with "scared shitless disease". So when he's running, you better check the floor for traces of the "symptoms".

If we had to use one word to describe Stanley (besides "wimp" or "wuss"), it would be "people-lover". However, Jake would probably say it's "trampoline" since he sits, stands, lays and jumps on Stanley. Luckily, Stanley is very tolerant of it all. Not being the slightest bit disturbed by the gut-busting, Stanley will lay, with a look of boredom on his face, as Jake uses him as a jumpy house.

Stanley has been convicted of some criminal acts -- assault with a wet weapon. Yes, Stanley has been found guilty of licking several people to death. Even on trips to the local dog park, you won't find Stanley trotting with the other mutts -- not even the dainty bitches. Oh, no. Stanley goes to the dog park to visit with the bitches' owners.

Stanley enjoys eating Jake's poopy diapers. Our estimated guess of how many he's eaten since Jake's birth in 2003, is about 20. He'll eat the pee-soaked ones, but he really enjoys the extra smelly, extra runny poopy ones. No, we don't feed them to him. He happens to get a hold of them when we're not around. He pulls them out of the trash cans, diaper pails...you name it. I guess it's some special treat for him. I could be standing in front of him with a t-bone steak and a runny, green poopy diaper and Stanley would definitely choose the diaper. I guess his delicious treat will be a thing of the past once Jake's potty trained.

If you should come to our door, you will hear the death bark of a pit bull mutt. Be warned that should you enter our home, you may be attacked with the lick of death.

Read Stanley's Biography >>